Miss Spiro and the Artemis Code
by Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl
Summary: 'Artemis,' you say hesitantly, forgetting all those formalities, 'This isn't a date, is it' 'Would there be anything wrong if it was' Asks Artemis, going to sit down. 'I, uh, w-well-' you stammer, then trip up on a tree root, and fall on top of Artemis, your lips just connecting with his. (Artemis x Reader, by Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl, and cup of tea hatter!)
1. Chapter 1: The Ball

Miss Spiro and the Artemis Code!

Angeline Fowl's balls were known for their extravagance, and this one was no exception.

"I cannot believe my dad is making me do this," you say, as you walk into Fowl Manor, you see Angeline come your way.

"Ah, you must be Miss Spiro," she says.

"Yes, I am." you say. She carries on greeting her guests, then you see him, your target, the one your father sent you to deceive, to gain his trust- Artemis Fowl the Second.

He starts to walk over to you.

"Um, hello sir," you say.

"Hello, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?" he says.

You look into his eyes, one icy, the other warm. "No, I don't think we have, but may I say, what interesting eyes you have!" you smile.

He smiles back, looking ever-so-slightly suspicious. "Thank you. What did you say your name was, Miss-?"

"Spires, Miss (Name) Spires, and you are…?" you ask, and his eyes grow more suspicious when you say your fake name.

"Artemis Fowl the second," he replies.

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you," you say forcing a smile on to your lips.

"I do like your dress, Miss Spires," he says, a bad attempt at making small talk.

You keep your smile, sincere this time. "Thanks," you grin, then walk away to get a drink. Artemis follows.

You look out of the corner of you eye, and see a very happy Angeline- then you notice most of the guests are teenage girls. You catch on almost immediately.

"So, what do you like doing? I'm sure you don't just sit around doing nothing all day!" you sing cheerfully, even though the happy looks Angeline is giving you is making you uncomfortable.

"Well, Miss Spires, I am usually out saving the world," he says .

"Ah, of course!"

You giggle again. Angeline is still sending you happy looks .

"Aw, I see," he sighs, looking at his mother. "You're not very comfortable with my mother over there," he says, you getting lost in his soft Irish accent .

"No, Mr Fowl I'm not. Is there somewhere we can go?"

"Well, maybe you'd like to dance?" asks Artemis, holding out a hand.

"Yes, I would love that," you reply, and take it.

As he leads you to the dance floor, you see Angeline is beaming. You smirk- this was almost too easy!

A NOTE FROM KITTY CAT CAITLIN FOWL!

Hi there! I'm Kitty Cat Caitlin. I admit, I cannot take full credit for this story. D'Arvit, I can't even take credit for HALF.

The truth is, I wrote this with cup of tea hatter, and she did most of the work. I just added a few lines, and corrected punctuation! Well, anyways, we got the first chapter done in like.. a day….

So here ya go, we hope ya liked it!

-Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl


	2. Chapter 2: Miss Spires is busted

Miss Spiro and the Artemis Code ch2!

Your phone starts to ring and you pick it up.  
"Hello, who is it?" you ask.

"Ah, hello Miss Spires. I was wondering if you'd like to go out today," Artemis says. You inwardly giggle- he was asking you out!

"Uh, yeah... Sure! When?"

"I was thinking. A light stole in the pack," he says, and you can hear him smirking.

"That sounds great, where should I meet you?" you ask.

"I'll come pick you up from your hotel," he replies.

You smile, not considering how bad things could turn out. Artemis seemed like a nice person, and you wanted nothing more than to hang out with him.

You didn't think that when the Bentley pulled up, you'd be met with a man mountain- so this was the famous Butler. You quickly decided not to piss this man off.

Butler opens the door in the back, and Artemis steps out, smiling.

You feel complied to smile back. Artemis opens the door for you. "You look lovely today, Miss Spires," he says.

"Thanks," you blush, getting in.

When you arrive, he says, "May I say, you're more beautiful than the goddess Aphrodite today!" You are completely aware of how you're blushing terribly.

"Thank you," you reply.

"Is that meant to be a joke, Mr-I-hate-Orion?"

"Mr-I-hate-Orion?" asks Artemis. "Orion is a great person!"

"My, Artemis, what the romantic you are," you say, but you don't notice Artemis is mentally scolding his alter ego Orion for sounding so odd.

"Well, I did write a few romance novels when I was younger," he says.

'Romance novels?" You ask sceptically. Artemis nods.  
'Yes.'  
'Really?' You say, and he gives you a look.

You giggle lightly.

"Well, Mr Fowl, to write romance, you need something to base it on," you say. He looks worried, but it only lasts a second, and then he smirks.

"Jealous, are we, Miss Spires?" he teases.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you reply.

"Oh, of course not, I wouldn't expect you to!" Scoffs Artemis. You can't help but feel like there's something you're missing.  
"Hm," you murmur, confused.

"Well, then, Mr Fowl, where was your first kiss? And with whom?" you smirk knowing you've won. He squirms slightly and stiffens.

"This girl..." he mutters.  
"Called?" You prompt.  
"Holly." He says. He looks really awkward.

"Holly?" You say.

"Yes," he says slowly, like he's making sure to choose each word carefully. "it was really an accident, to be honest."

"Let me guess; spin the bottle at a party? you laugh, and he seems to relax a bit.

"Something like that," he says.  
"Tell me!" You smile.  
"It doesn't really matter."  
"It does to me!"  
"Really?" He asks, looking you in the eyes.

"I'm a sixteen year old teenage girl, who would rather be on a computer, than play outside," you say.

He raises an eyebrow.  
"Of course it matters." You state.  
"Very well," he says."we went to this party, had a few drinks-" your mouth drops at this, "Lemonade," he sighs, as if it was SO obvious, "and Holly got over excited. So, she kissed me."  
"Wow."  
"As you can imagine, I was quite surprised. Cap- Holly acted as if I was the one who kissed HER."  
"That sucks."  
"Mh, hm."

For some reason you don't think that's how it really happened.

"Would you like to go and have some tea?" he asks, obviously avoiding to say anything else.

"I would love to!"

This was too easy far too easy, you think to yourself. What's this, weird, smart, handsome—Wait, handsome probably a fluke thought.

Yeah. Handsome was definitely a plain fluke. You mentally slap yourself. What would your father say?!

But then again, he didn't know, did he?

You look at Artemis, wondering about him. Was he crazy? Was he just making stuff up? But then again, he seemed truely embarresed.

Maybe he had something to hide? Or, maybe he's telling the truth, but has let his guard down.

You decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, and go with the last one. You look out the window, in silence.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After the tea, he asked if you wanted to come to the Manor for dinner. You said yes, but you didn't think it would take you two hours to get ready!

Butler came and picked you up at 6 o'clock. As he opened the door you were met with Artemis and two little boys.

"Hello, Artemis," you smile.

"Miss Spires, may I introduce my younger brothers Myles and Beckett?" he says.

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Spires," Myles says.

"It's nice to me-et you, Missy Spy," Beckett says, a big grin on his face.

The boys look like angels. The nervous look on Artemis's face means that either he's taken ages to get them like this, or that he really wants this to go well.

You decide to favour the former.

"My, how long did it take for Artemis to get you looking like this?" you ask sweetly, but with a smirk on your face.

Myles scowls, and Beckett smiles.

Artemis smirks back, and says; "A little under 2 hours."

You nod, grinning. You don't even consider the reason Artemis is so nervous could be both.  
"Artemis, Juliet says she'll take the twins, and I have to go get those files you wanted."  
"Okay," says Artemis. Butler takes the twins and walks away.

"This way to the dining room, Miss Spires," he says, a small smile on his face.

_Meanwhile in a ops booth in Police Plaza, Haven City, Holly and Foaly were laughing their heads off._

_Foaly practically fell over. 'That mudboy has a girl?'  
'He's in loooooooooooooooove!' Sang Holly.  
'Just so you know, I'm recording this, so I'll put it on a vDisk for you later!'  
'You are the greatest, Foaly!'_

On the table was your favourite meal. '(Food)! How did you know?' You ask.  
'Lucky guess,' laughs Artemis.

_('Yeah, I bet. That mud boy is so lucky it is unbelieveable.')_

He pulls out a chair for you, and you blush at his good manners.

'Thank you, Mr Fowl."  
_  
('Ha! "Mr Fowl"! Hey, Foaly, isn't that his dad?')_

'It's quite all right," he says, pulling out his own chair.

_('Dear Frond, I'm sending an email to his mum,')_

"Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me everything about yourself, like when you disappeared for those three years?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

_('How's the mud boy gonna get out of this one?')_

'What on Earth are you talking about?' He asks.  
'It was on the news.'  
'Look, I'm sorry, what? Don't believe everything you watch. What brought this on?'

"Oh, just the fact I thought you were off saving the world!" you laugh, pretending it was a joke.

Artemis looks at you, as if he's not sure what to say. He opens his mouth as if to say something, then shuts it again, like he's thought better of it.

_Back in haven! 'Well, that's a first- the great Artemis Fowl speechless!'_

'I wish I could tell you..." he sighs.

"I see. Maybe one day," you smile.

Suddenly the door opened.

Juliet and Beckett came running in singing; "Love is an open dooooooooooooorrrrrrrr!"

Artemis says; "Beckett, Juliet, you should know better than to do that,"

You start laughing.

_('Oh, Juliet I'm glad I asked you to do that!')_

(Lol)

_('Ha, ha, ha, ow, CLASSIC, Foaly!')_

You blush, then say quietly, 'We aren't in love.'

Which was only technecally true, as you were falling for Artemis, no matter how you tried to stop yourself, more each minute.

Juliet laughs. 'Of course not.'

Artemis looks like he could kill a planet. 'GET. OUT.'

_('Oooh, bossy mud man!')_

Sadly, everyone was right; you were falling for Artemis- falling hard and fast, although you'd never admit it.

Everyone apart from Artemis quickly departed.

"Miss Spires, I am terribly sorry about that," he says.

"Oh, it's alright, I'm hardly ever in a lively household!" you smile.

_('Wait, did he just say Spires... That sounds kinda like Spi-'_

'_Spiro!')_

_Holly paled. 'D'Arvit! This is bad. Badder than bad.'  
'Computer, get me everything you can on (Name) Spiro.'  
'(NAME) SPIRO. NO MATCHES.'  
Holly facepalmed. 'Not only that, she prefers anonimity.'_

'If there's anything I can do to make it up to you-'  
'It's fine, Artemis. I don't mind.'

"No, it's not fine. We could go out tomorrow?" he says. You smile.

"That would be lovely, Arty!" you grin. He blushes slightly, and when you call him that you soon realised that you too were blushing .

_('Foaly, we need to warn Artemis!'_

'I completely agree, Holly.')

'Where did you want to go?' You ask, willing yourself to keep a straight face. The way Artemis is looking at you, you doubt it.  
'Well, I know this nice park just out of Dublin we could go to?'  
'It sounds amazing!'

_('Wow, she's good. I've never seen a spy fake looking so happy.')_

"When should I pick you up?" he asks, avoiding your eyes.

"1 o'clock? We could have a picnic?" you suggest.

"Then, 1 o'clock tomorrow, Butler and I will come pick you up, he says.

_('This girl is good.' )_

You look to the ground, refusing to believe what is in front of your very eyes.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Artemis Fowl uncharacteristically had all of his communications turned off. His phone, his email, his fairy communicater... There was nothing Holly and Foaly could do, but tell him in person.

Even then, all the shuttle ports were closed. Every. Single. One.

'_Holly, this is bad. Really bad.'  
'Yes it is, Foaly, yes it is.'_

_-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_

**Author note by cup of tea hatter!**

**Hi this is hatter here and all I can say is writing with miss kitty cat Caitlin fowl here is fun but it ends up with opal koboi coved with pie so read and reviwe please writing this is fun  
*throws pie at opal***

Pai:ow

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**Author note by Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl!**

**Hi there! Well, here's chapter two. We have literally been working on this ALL DAY! *laughs* We hope ya like it, and something good happens next chappie... TWICE! Take it from me, it'll be good. Thanks for reading it, and we value your support, but GUESS WHAT? We don't value you guys not reviewing!**

SO REVIEW! THANKS FOR READING! BAI!


	3. Chapter 3: Kiss

Miss Spiro and the Artemis Code ch 3!

YOU WERE NOT FALLING FOR HIM.  
You didn't like Artemis in that way, neither did he like you.

Even so, even the thought of spending time with him made you smile happily.  
But that didn't matter because YOU DID NOT LOVE HIM.

"Well, it's nice to see you again," you say as you smile.

"You as well," he replies. His face is cute- he isobviously thinking of something.  
No, wait! Artemis Fowl the second is not cute!

Not cute, you remind yourself. NOT CUTE.  
Artemis looks at his bodyguard. 'Butler, do you mind if um, you...'  
Butler nods. 'I understand.'  
You all get into the car, and Artemis smiles at you. "Thank you," he says softly.  
'Huh?'  
'For agreeing to come.' He says.

He looks really happy, but you reason that he's just being friendly. Because he couldn't love you. He couldn't.

When you reach the park Artemis opens your door. Butler gets the picnic stuff out the boot, and starts down the hill. You look over everything.

"It's beautiful," you say, your eyes glittering. You see Butler put the blanket down, and then walk back up the hill.

"I'll see you two later, then," he says and climbs back in the car.

'Wow,' you sigh.  
'I'm glad you like it, (Name).'

"Um, where's Butler going?" you ask.

"Oh, he won't be joining us," Artemis says, then you realise something. You are alone with him.

You quickly remind yourself this is not, repeat NOT A DATE.

'Artemis,' you say hesitantly, forgetting all those formalities, 'This isn't a date, is it?'  
'Would there be anything wrong if it was?' Asks Artemis, going to sit down.  
'I, uh, w-well-' you stammer, then trip up on a tree root, and fall on top of Artemis, your lips just connecting with his.

Your eyes wide with shock you pull away.

"Oh, Artemis, I'm so sorry!" you say quickly. You know you're as red as a fire truck, but luckily so is he.

'I-It's okay, (Name), I, um, uh, d-don't mind,' stutters Artemis, his mismatched eyes wide in surprise. 'I-If there a-anything I can do-'

"No, Artemis it doesn't matter, it was my fault!" you say turning back to him, only to realise how close you are- your noses are almost touching.

'Sorry,' you whisper, hating your own blood, hating it for flooding through your face.

"It's okay," he says, leaning in. You don't know what's happening, but you start leaning in as well.

Your and his lips are an inch apart when Butler comes running down the hill.

"ARTEMIS! We need to go, I've just had a call from your, um, business associate," he says.

You an Artemis pull apart, both of you taking a sudden interest in your shoes.

You're dissapointed, just a little, but also relieved. You didn't want to kiss him, it could complicate things, but on the other hand, you hope it's an important call, not just "Your stocks fell by 0.01%".

There are things more important than 0.01%.

You and Artemis arrive at your hotel.

"Good bye, Artemis," you sigh.

"(name), wait," he says. You turn around and he says, "you forgot something."  
"Did I?" you ask.

Great, another way to prove your brain is scattering.

"What?"

He pulls you down and grabs your chin, and captures your lips in his. It lasts only a second, and he's blushing like a beetroot. **(hatter: see what I did there)**

You were very aware that you were the same colour.

Artemis said good bye, and shut the door, leaving you frozen on the spot.

_(Foaly:*been watching this whole time* That girl is good.)_

**(Caitlin: Ohhh, I saw!)**

'Artemis,' you murmur softly, not moving, but staring at the spot where he had stood.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Fowl manor

Foaly and holly appered on the laptop in Artemis's study

"So, Artemis, we discovered something about your lady friend," Holly says, a worried look on her face.  
"I know she's lovely isn't she" sighs Artemis, with dreamy eyes now.

If you didn't know Artemis Fowl II, he'd just look like a lovestruck teenage boy, but for those who know Artemis well, know this isn't normal for the boy genius.

'A-Are you okay, Arty? Asks Holly. Artemis nods, dazed.  
Foaly doesn't take the same approach as Holly. 'We think your girlfriend is Jon Spiro's daughter.'  
Artemis comes out of his daydream, shocked. 'You WHAT?'

"Foaly, I'm shocked you'd make that aspired idea," Artemis says.  
"Oh, he's got it bad," Holly says looking paler.

'Doesn't Spires sound a lot like Spiro?' Asks Foaly.  
'THAT is what you're basing this on!?' Demands Artemis.  
'Now, Arty, I know it sounds crazy-'  
'Yes, Holly, it IS crazy! You haven't even met her, and you judge her on her name? Look, I'm not even going to talk to you until you see sense!' He yells, and turns the laptop off, walking out of the room.

"Well, that went well," Foaly says

"We're going to have to find more evidence, Foaly," says Holly, now as pale as Artemis himself.

'Why can't he see we just want to help him?'  
'He's in love, and he's convinced there's nothing that needs help."

Artemis's phone buzzed, it was a text.

_Hey arty want 2 do something la8er_

If u do text back

(Name)  
  
Artemis smiled and texted back with a simple

_Yes_

_Well, theres this really cool beach place, its not a sandy place but its got a lot of rock pools!  
_  
_It sounds brilliant, what time?_

_4pm?_  
_  
Ok_

_DO NOT WEAR A SUIT THEY ARE TOO NICE TO BE RUINED.  
_  
_I'm glad someone thinks so._  
_  
:-)_

You can't explain the over-whelming feeling of happiness in your chest, and then you realise something.

Oh my gods...

You were falling for Artemis Fowl.


	4. Chapter 4: I'm so sorry, Artemis

Miss Spiro and the Artemis Code ch4!

You and Artemis sit on the beach under an umbrella, reading.

"We should probably go swimming" you say as you put your book down.

"I really don't think so," he says.

"Come on, Arty, it'll be fun!" you say, and start to pull him up out of the shade of the umbrella. He fights back, but sadly for him you end up dragging him to the ocean.

He pulls away, and you stop for a few minutes. Then,you run back to the shoreline, pick up some water in your hands, and drench him.

"Why did you do that?!"he demands, obviously annoyed. You laugh, and have your eyes closed so you don't realise something's up until you feel cold water running down your back.

"ARTEMIS FOWL you are in BIG trouble!"  
You scream, so loud the heavens could hear you.

You and Artemis have a waterfight, until you are both soaked to the skin.  
"I give up!" Shouts Artemis.

"Really, like I believe that!" you tackle him to the ground, and he pushes you into the ocean.

"What the hell did you do that for?"he asks.

"To win, duh." you say with sarcasm.

"Really, Miss Spires."he then proceeded to pull you into a hug and you hugged back wrapped up in his arms you smile silently, and dig your face into his chest.  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Holly was worried.

More worried than back when Opal had tried to destroy the world a third time.

This girl was using him to gain his trust.  
"Foaly, you got anything yet?"she asked. Foaly looked up from his computers and shock his face.

"Nothing so far, she's invisible. Unheard of and comple-wait, is Artemis cuddling on the beach?!"

Foaly laughed. "Looks it."

Holly sighed. "Did you just answer your own thought-question?"  
"Uh, no..." said Foaly slowly.

Holly gave him a look. "Right, mortal enemy, yeah, yeah..." he sighed.  
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-  
You pack up your and Artemis's things, and go back to the manor. You're in his study on the sofa in the corner, while Artemis works on his laptop.

You looked at him and realised summer break is almost over.

"Arty, summer's almost over," you say, sadness in your voice.

"Yes, I guess it is," He says and stops working, walks over and sits with you.

"What are we gonna do?" you say.

"About us?"asks Artemis.  
"Yes," you reply.

"I don't know," he sighs. You consider telling him what you'd originally came for, but decided it would be best for both of you if you stayed quiet.

He need never know, it would only make him hate you. After all, he probably wouldn't care you disowned Jon Spiro, he'd just be torn to bits.

Needless to say, you don't want to do that to him.

"I could come to school in Dublin?" you suggest as a thought goes though your mind.

"Let's see what happens we'll work it out in the end," he replies.

If only Artemis knew... 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It had been stressful for you for the last week.

Your dad had been telling you that you couldn't just abandon him in the middle of it all, but you'd just hang up without another word.

You knew this wasn't the end, of course. Daddy was going to come back, and there would be all hell to pay. But you decided to take that when it came.

It came at 4 o'clock on a Saturday to wake you up from your day dreams.

Summer's about to finish and you'll be going to St. Elizabeth's which was right next door to St. Bartelby's.

You're going to tell him today, tell him who you are, and that you no longer wanted any part of your father, and that if he never wanted to see you again, then you'd leave and he _would_ never see you again.

You sigh, wishing you'd made this decision earlier. Regret of the past haunted your eyes as you walked. You wanted to turn back, leave, and keep a guarantee Artemis would still like you.

You knock at the door. Butler answers it, and he lets you in, and up to Artemis's study. "Arty," you say. Artemis looks at you and says, "Hi."  
**(hatter: You muste- this a little depressing actually so let's leave this for a later chap because honestly I'm get confused and I wrote half of it.)**

**(Caitlin: Aw, c'mon it'll be fine, you've started now!)**

**(hatter: D'arvit your right)**

"Artemis Fowl the second, I have something I think you should know."you say.

"What is it?" he asks

"I'm... I mean my real name is (name) Spiro. Yes, I said Spiro, and, yes, that Spiro." you say, but his eyes are open wide.

You can see the gears in his mind working. There's one that stands out from the rest, the one marked Orion saying "My, how sweet! A Romeo and Juliet-like love story!"

"I'm sorry, I don't want you to hate me!" You cry. You hope slightly that Artemis will listen to that one thought.  
You suddenly think you were right to not want to tell him, then Artemis says...

"Why would you think that?" he asks. "Over the past two weeks, I've gotten to know you, and I think that you're wonderful." he kisses you.

"So you don't hate me?"

"Of course I don't!"

_(Back in haven about 200 LEP officers were in the ops booth crying at what was unveiling before they're eyes) _

**(Caitlin: Lol)**

'I love you, Artemis."  
"I love you too, (name)." Says Artemis, pulling you into a hug.  
"We m-may have a teeny-weeny problem though," you whisper.  
"What?"  
"I may have disowned my father, and now he says he's coming for me."

_(The LEP officers all groan.)_

"Oh, I see. Well, we'll deal with that later, then," he says, then kisses you again.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**Author note from Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl!**

**Hi! Well, clearly, that's another chapter. hatter wants me to point out that was filler. I'd like to point out it was fluff.**

**In my opinion, anything with over 900 words is not filler.**

**Well, to all the reviewers, (ie, two or three people) THANKS SO MUCH! We were complaining about the lack of reviews, then you proved us wrong!**

**Bai!**


	5. Chapter 5: The book (NOT that one!)

Miss Spiro and the Artemis Code, chapter…. 5?

"Welcome students, to a new year at St. Elizabeth. I have an announcement!" says Headmistress Black.

You barely look up. You had more important things to think about (not to even mention someONE), and listening in school assemblies were not the highest thing up on your agenda.

Why it was the law to go to school, you'd never know. You thought anybody with an IQ under 90 should be made to sit in classes, and let that be it.

You knew this wasn't exactly fair, but you had been tested, and some of your test result showed you were about as smart as 1.5 Mozarts, or three quarters of a da Vinci.

(See what I did?)

But still, some of your other results, in other areas, they showed you would either end up down a dark ally with a needle in your arm, or possibly working in burger king. That dumb.

"We will be having an exchange with ten of our students, and ten of St. Bartleby's." You look up at that point, thinking;

_'St. Bartleby's! I wonder if that means Artemis?'_

"Gentlemen, please come in!" You turn your head.

_Nope... Nope... Nope.. Nope.. Nope... YES!_

You mentally celebrate, screaming in happiness. You're glad no one can mind-read.

Artemis spots you and smiles you then realise most of the girls in the room are giving you death glares.

'_Well, that's bloody charming...' _you think to yourself.

You smile back to him, and wave.

'Does anyone volenteer to have Ben share a dorm with you?' Asks Headmistress Black. A few hands go up, and she picks.

'Now, Artemis?"

Dosens of hands shoot up, including yours.

"Well it seems Fowl is quiet popular. Who would you like to share a dorm with, Artemis?"

"If you don't mind, Headmistress Black, I'd like to share with Miss Spiro." he said. Once again, all the girls in the room glaring at you.

You blush, and Artemis sits in the spare seat next to you. He holds up a hand, and you give him a highfive.

"A highfive? Really? Not like you." You note.

"Well, I do get to share a room with my girlfriend." He smirks

You blush, hoping he isn't thinking what you (maybe) are.

'I, um, well uh, I uh, see your, uh.. Point..." you stammer. He smirks.

(Of _course_ the Lep was watching)

"So would you like to do something?"you ask

"Yes, at break today?"he says.

"That would be nice!" you reply.

You suddenly get kicked up the leg.

Artemis looks to the girl behind him.

Artemis glares, and in his coldest voice, he says, "Do you have a problem?"

The girl instantly shakes her head, blushing. You can't help feeling sorry for her, even though your leg stings.

Artemis mutters something about manners, but then looks at you and smiles.

"We really are the pair, aren't we?" he says.

"Yes, yes we are."

He looks into your eyes. "I'd like it no other way..." he says, and you blush even more, as your not sure what to say.

He puts an arm around your waist.

"Arty, what do you think you are doing?" you say, trying to glare but a small smile makes it on to your face.

"Oh, you know, getting comfortable."

He's still smirking.

You focus on Headmistress Black, trying your best not to let him win.  
"Which is why there will be NO COMPUTER-HACKING on school grounds," she drivels.

Twelve students all groan, and start puting phones in their pockets.

You try not laugh.  
"That is why, Miss Spiro, we don't get caught." Artemis whispers to you.

"A-Artemis, I-"  
"Miss Spiro," he says, looking at you intently.  
"Nothing.."  
"Tell me."  
You don't say anything, as you're too caught up focusing on Artemis's voice to remember what you were going to say.

God, why does he have to have that wonderful Irish accent?!

"Artemis, after the assembly, I'll show you to our room." You whisper in his ear. He smirks, but then, there's a light blush on his cheek. You lean your head on his shoulder.

Artemis pokes your cheek gently.  
"Are you in awe of me?" He asks.  
"Something like that." You mumble.  
'You're in awe of me," he states.

**(Caitlin: Recognise the quote?)**

**(hatter: Brill kit cat)**

"No I am not, Artemis, if anything you are in awe of _me,_" you smirk, as you to walk out of assembly.

Two St. Bartleby's boys come up to you and Artemis.

"Sooooooooooooo, Arty's got a girlfriend- who would've thought it?!"the brown haired one says.

"Yeah, Arty an- wait, what's your name?" the blond one says, a bit confused.

"Just call me (Name) Spiro!" You call, walking to your dorm. Artemis hurries after you, and the boys give you both odd looks.

**(Caitlin: What's it from then? *grins*)**

"Who were they?" you ask.

"John and Johnny Anders," he replys.

"I'm guessing they make fun of you a lot."you smirk, but blush when Artemis puts his arm on your shoulders. You are suddenly all too aware of the seemingly millions of glares coming your way, but you soon realise Artemis is looking at you. "Arty, stop that!" you whine.

"Stop what?"  
"Looking at me like that"your blush deepens.

"Are you embarresed?" He asks, playing with your hair.  
"You're acting weird... Really, really weird!"  
"You're blushing," he whispers. "What are you thinking?"

"That my boyfriend isn't acting like an Artemis, instead an Orion!" **(hatter: you like that people?)** you say, but that seems to get Artemis's attention.

"Orion?" He says, rolling his eyes. "Why did you just compare me with that, that... jibering moron?!"

"What?!"you say.

"Nothing! Just saying that, in the of myths, Orion was a moron!" he says.

"And why would you think that_ I_ think Orion is sweet?"  
Orion mentally cheers, Artemis telling him to calm down.

You stop to think. "You've stopped acting like an Artemis, and now you're acting like her!"  
He looks at you. "How much mythology do you read?"  
"A bit."  
'Well, you need to cut down," sighs Artemis.

"Ok, I will."you say.  
He smirks at you.

"How much have you really read?" he asks, still smirking.  
"Ok, so I can name the 12 Olympian gods, and some of the minor ones..." you say rolling your eyes.

Artemis takes a deep sigh. "For goodness' sake, (Name), don't you have a life?"  
"Not without you I don't!" You sing. You walk in front of him, and you've almost made it to your room.  
" Zeus Jupiter/Jove

2. Hera Juno

3. Poseidon Neptune

4. Hades Pluto

5. Hestia Vesta

6 Athena Minerva

7. Artemis Diana

8. Apollo Apollo

9. Aphrodite Venus

10. Hephaestus Vulcan

11. Ares Mars

12. Hermes Mercury!"  
"Wow, Roman names too," he mumbles, as you open the door, and he walks in after you.

You're quiet for a second, then you shrug. "Pegasus."

"Eris, Thetis, no, she's a nymph... Hera, Peleus, Cupid..." You sigh.  
Artemis gives you a bewildered look, not sure how many Roman gods you said.  
"You can stop now."

"Wow, beauty and wit- the deadly pair!" he smirks.

"Why, thank you,"you say, your smile apparent as you unlock the door to your dorm room, and step in.

You consider this. "Shhhh, Artemis, I may seduce you," you whisper.  
"Bit late in the day to start worrying, don't you think?" He replies.

You blush. "Well, you just lost your chance!"  
"Oh dear, like I didn't expect that." he replies, and shuts the door. "So, this is our room," he smirks- then you realise why.

There's only one bed.

"Artemis, let's go to lunch." you stutter, quickly opening the door.

You think of your old dormmate, Alyssa. She was one of the exchange students, and you suddenly realised that they must have removed her bed.  
'Why, Ally? Why did you have to go?' You ask an imaginary image of Alyssa. She stares at you with lifeless eyes.

_**The canteen**_

"(Name) come over here!" Emily Hart says from her table.

"Why, hello Emily, what can I do for you?" you ask with a small smile.

"I want you to introduce your boyfriend, what else?"she replies.

"Emily, this is my boyfriend, Artemis."

Artemis holds out his hand. "Nice too meet you," he says.

You sigh. Sure, Emily's a nice person, but she always gets what wants, and she usually has an agenda.  
"So, Artemis," she says breathlessly, "Do you wanna hang out some time?" She asks.  
"Damn it," you moan under your breath  
"Trust me, (Name)'s pretty boorish."  
"I don't mind boring," says Artemis, and an arm snakes around your waist, and he kisses you.

Emily glares, but then smiles. "Wow, (name), he really likes you!" she says.

"I know, Emily." you say.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Artemis states. You blush.

You do your best to avoid catching his eye, miserable that he's embarressing you in front of your friend. What's worse is that you doubt he know's he's doing it.

"Joan, they're adorable aren't they?" Emily says.  
Joan Low simply nods. She's was to busy staring at more of the St. Bartleby's boys.

Artemis looks at Emily. "Please excuse us," he says politely, and drags you away.  
"Hey! What was that for?" You ask.  
"Why are you so embarressed? He asks, looking at you, concerned.  
"I'm not," you say.  
"Then why are you acting so weird?"  
You mutter something about a series of coincedinces. He blinks.  
"Not that I don't believe in coincedinces," he says, "but what are the odds of a series of coincedinces?" He asks, smiling.  
Emily is still sitting with Joan, but she's resorted to making heart shapes with her fingers while grinning fiendishly.

"It's because I'm nervous. You are my first boyfriend!" you state. Artemis puts his hand on his face, but you see it going red. "Arty, are you in awe of me?"you ask.

"No, if anything you're in awe of me." he replies. Emily's looking at you and is still making hearts with her hands.

**(Caitlin: The awe thing is from Dark Days, if you hadn't noticed!)**

You grab your phone and type as fast as you can.

Em quit it not funny just plees stop.

Emily walks over to you. Oh, gods.  
Artemis, (Name), are you okaaaaaaay?" She croons. Artemis sighs, and walks off.  
"Em, you know I love you?" You hiss.  
"Why yes, of course, (Name)!"  
"Well, leave us alone or I'll kill you." You say threateningly, and turn.

**(hatter: Oh I notice)**

"Awwwwwww, are you in wooooove?" Emily says, tensing noted in her voice.

"Miss Hart, would you please leave us alone?" Artemis demands.

"Fine, but we'll grill you later, (name)!" Emily says

"Well, now that she's gone, what on earth should we do?" Artemis murmurs.

"Well the library got some first editions..." you state.

"That sounds lovely," he replies.

**(Caitlin: LOL!)**  
You show Artemis where the library is, then you head to the "legends" shelf, and pick out the story of Aphrodite's golden apple.  
Suddenly, Artemis spins you around.  
"No Greek legends," he chides, and kisses your forehead.  
You put the book down.

You walk over to fiction when you spot a title.

"Arty, why's this here?" you ask.

Artemis walks over to you, and sees the book.

"Oh, well, you shouldn't touch that, it's completly flase!" **(hatter: kitty can you guess what it is)**

**(Caitlin: What? Ohhhhhh... It's not... Is it?!)**  
"Why not?"  
Artemis turns red.  
"You just shouldn't. You wouldn't like it."

**( hatter: af and ttp)**

"Well then, ok.." you'd come back later and have a look.

"How about some tea" he asks, changing the subject.

"I would love some," you say, a plan already forming in your head.

(Ohhh, okaysies!)

You follow Artemis back, not really paying atention, as the plot in your mind id thickening.

"Artemis, how about we go to the campus tearooms?" you suggest.

"That would be lovely." he replies. You think back to the book. It's by Eoin Colfer, but the first name was obviously pronored "Owen". This afternoon, you'd get it, and read...

Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**Author Note from Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl!**

**Wellll, hello! I'm sorry, it's been a while. I'm posting this un-punctuated as I found 11 reviews, and I decided not to keep you all waiting! Once I publish this, I'm going to fix it all. **

**So, me and hatter both like Skuldu**g**gery Pleasant, and I've used a quote from book four (NO NOT THAT WORD!)- Dark Days.**

**YAY! That's it punctuated. Thank Frond. I don't think I wanna look at the keyboard for at least an HOUR!**

**...JEEZ...**


	6. Chapter 6: I win

You walk in to your dorm room and slam the book down on the desk in front of Artemis. He stares at it.

"So~... Holly Short was just an old friend?" you ask with a smirk.

Artemis turns his back to you, for something like the fourth time in his life speechless.

"I said you wouldn't like the book," he mutters.

"Oh, but I did, Arty!" You sing. "Sooooooooo," you pause, "Faeries? You can dooooo... Magic?" you demand.

"Well, how far in are you?" he asks.

"Just after Holly's kiss," you say. He blushes crimson

"Like I said, it was an accident..." He mumbles.

"Oh, I know, Artemis. I don't mind!" You say happily.

"Really?" he asks.

"How many girls have boyfriends who have kissed a faerie?!" you demand. He looks at you and says,

"Just you, (name)."

You kiss him. "What was that for?"he asks, smiling.

"Nothing!"you laugh. "Just getting one over on your faerie friend."

Artemis looks into your eyes inquizitively.

"I bet I've kissed you more than she has." you whisper.

_(Meanwhile, in Haven City)_

_"Hollllly? You kissed the mud boy~?" demanded Foaly._

_All eyes turned on Holly._

_It was once and I'd been put back to being a hormonal teenager she said_

_Foaly sneered. "Ah, of course."_

_"Look! Are they... cuddling?!" she said, pointing at the screen. Everyone turned back to face the screen as Holly quickly retreated._

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," says Artemis.

"I understand." you say.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You lie on the floor in thought.

Artemis does pretty much the same, only he's lying on the bed, talking to Orion in his head.

Mrs MacIntire had done her rounds just about ten minutes ago, making sure everyone was in bed.

"You know you can sleep with me if you like," says Artemis absent-mindedly.

"I think I'll be fine," you mutter.

"(Name), I know you're cold! Just come up here!" he says once again.

"Arty, I real- What on earth are you doing?!" you ask as he starts dragging you to the bed.

"You will sleep in the bed, and tomorrow we will ask for a second bed to be put in."

He puts the duvet over you and sits on the corner of the bed.

"Arty, you're going to freeze!" you say blushing.

"Don't worry, I won't." he says.

"Oh, yes, you will!"you say and pull the duvet back, and pull him in, wrapping your arms around him. "It's only so you don't freeze to death." you say.

"Ohhh, really?" he says looking at you. You blush crimson.

(hatter:fluffy plot BUNNIES)

(Caitlin: IS DYING FROM CUTENESS)

"Yes, really," you mutter, closing your eyes. "Now go to sleep." You two fall asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning you woke up to the sound of giggling.

You looked up and saw Emily taking pictures with her phone.

"Emily what on earth?" you ask sleepily.

"Oh, you know, (name), just taking some pics of you and Artemis here!" she smiles sweetly- and then you notice you're still in Artemis's arms.

"Em, you won't show those to anyone!" you say, moving away from your now-awakened boyfriend.

"Just everyone except the teachers." she smirks, and runs out the room.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" You scream as she runs out. Artemis gives her a look.

"I'll sue you for libel," he says quietly. Then, "How'd she get in here?"

"She must of gotten Joan to pick the lock..." you say.

"Ah, well, what sort of revenge should we plot?" he asks.

"Something evil and worthy of us." you answer.

"Well, I might have just the thing," he says, "but go and find Joan."

You nod. You go into the bathroom with some clothes, get changed, and run out of the room to find Joan.

"JOAN? What did Em give you?" you scream.

"She gave me the phone numbers for 5 of the boys!"she says.

You groan. You're not sure what to say to that.

"You are boy-crazy..." You mutter. "Joan, just tell me where she went." Joan just pointed to the AV room down the hall. "Thank you, Joan!" you say, and smile, and turn the corner, but stop when you are out of sight.

"Is she gone?" you hear Emily ask Joan.

"Yes, Em, she is!" you hear Emily sigh, and start walking you away. You grab her.

"Em, can I have your phone please?" you ask sweetly.

"Never." she replies.

"GIVE IT TO ME OR ARTY WILL SUE YOU!" you yell.

"Nawwwww, Arty, now, is it? Is Arty gonna get his lawyers?" says Emily mockingly.

"As a matter of fact, yes." says a voice.

"Oh, crap..." she says. Artemis steps out of the shadows.

"Now, (name) here would like to delete those pictures." he says. Emily hands you her phone, and you instantly go to "SETTINGS", then "RESET ALL FUNCTIONS", and touch the screen.

Artemis speaks again, and you swear you can see a few blue sparks. Trick of the light?

"Now, Emily. Leave me and (Name) alone."

Emily nods slowly.

"If you tease us again," he says dangerously, "I will not hesitate to take action." he looks away, and Emily and Joan run off, after you give Emily her phone back.

"Woah," you gasp. "Ok, I'm in awe of you." you say, a smirk gracing your lips.

"I knew you'd come around sooner or later."he says, a smirk gracing his own lips. "It's the weekend, I want a lie-in..." you sigh, trailing back to your room. Artemis follows.

"I think I will have one too."

"Why don't we catch the bus to town?" he asks. You nod, and that's how you ended up in Dublin on a Saturday without an umbrella

"This was the best idea ever," you mutter bitterly. Artemis smiles.

"I know, I'm so smart!" he says.

You know you can't contradict him. You'd be wrong, and he'd probably laugh. " I _hate_ you" you say.

"Sorry, I think I heard _I love you?_" he smirks.

"Arty, it's raining."

"I know."

(hatter: Fluffy plot BUNNIES)

"You LIKE the rain?" you demand. Artemis doesn't say anything, but he gives you a hug. You don't want to hug him back, but you find you can't pull away, either.

(Caitlin:No, we can't use it that's from another story! NO STEALING! MUCH!)

(hatter: D'arvit)

"Arty? Why are you hugging me?" you demand.

"Because you are so darn cute when you're mad." he replies. You mumble something under your breath.

"You're acting weird," you complain.

"Don't you like it?" he asks hesitantly.

"Well, remember what I said about Orion? I'd say it again, but-"

"What's the point?" he finishes.

"Arty, let's go and get some lunch." you say and take his hand.

"Sounds like a . You take the liberty of walking to this fancy resteraunt across the street, then walk in and request a table for two. You don't realise how expensive the food is, and grab your purse.

23 Euros, 92 cents. Typical.

"I'll pay," he says.

"Arty, you can't!"

He gives you a "C'mooooooon" look. You give him the look straight back.  
"I'll just have a salad, I can afford that!"

"Why don't we just go somewhere else?" he suggests.

"Ok. there's this diner Emily told me about?"

"Emily," he says quietly.  
"It's really nice, honestly!" you explain, but from the look on Artemis's face, you can see see that's not what he's thinking.

"Arty," you say with puppy-dog eyes, "please."

Artemis stares at you until finally, "Oh, fine, just stop!"

He keeps staring into space as you walk, and then you decide to ask;  
"Arty? What are you thinking?"  
Artemis blinks, then looks at you.

"What is it, (name)?"he says.

"I was just thinking that maybe we should go back to school." you say.

"Why?" you nod to where the diner is and see Emily in sunglasses and hat, badly disguised.

"I see your point" he says.

(Caitlin: Are we on the way to Arty-OCCdom?)

(hatter: Proably)

"How childish," notes Artemis. You get on the bus, and as it leaves you can't resist. You give Emily a small wave.

Emily notices and scowls mainly because the next bus isn't for another 2 hours

Artemis looks at her. She stares right back, then walks out of the diner.

You smirk "Well, she'll be mad when she gets back!"you say.

"Yes, but what should we do when we get back?"he asks. "How about we go and have some tea?"

You look at him. "You really like tea, don't you?"  
"Yes."  
"Then let's do it!"  
"You seem excited."

"Well I kinda do have to stay away form Emily as long as I can~!"you say.

"Obviously, but I don't think it's that..." he says.

"Fine the-"

He kisses you.

"Artemis! Why the hell did you do that?!" you ask.

"Because you were so darn cute!" he replies.

You pout. You don't say anything, you completely forget how. All you can do is sit in annoyance that Artemis can win so easily, and just think in silence.

Why does he do this to you?

So you diced to kiss him you pull back "I think you'll find, Arty, that I just won." you smirk

(Caitlin: OH D'ARVIT MY COMPUTER JUST DIED. I JUST LOST AN EPIC DESCRIPTION!)

"Ohhhhh, really?!" he demands. You know what he'll do next, but you don't really mind. How can you?!  
He pulls you onto his lap, and kisses you yet again.  
The only thing that annoys you about it is how it seems to be sugar-coated, as if you've walked into a candy shop (Caitlin:Yeah, American thing, I know...) and had a try of the world's finest chocolate.  
Needless to say, it'd kill even the most lenient diabetic, and as if your mind has corresponded to that very thought, you feel yourself slipping away...

(Caitlin: Yeah, the original was SO much better.)

(hatter: Ok)

You really don't mind.

"Crap, we forgot to ask for another bed!" you sigh.

"Does it really matter?" he asks.

"Not at all..." you reply.

You snap your fingers to get rid of the numbness. You want to sulk, but you know you can't.  
The bus stops, and you jump up.  
"Tea, Artemis?" you ask. He nods, and you both leave.

As you walk to the school gates you see Joan waving.

"Ok. Em asked you to watch us, right?" you say. Joan nods.

Artemis walks straight past her. You follow in surprise.

You walk into the campus tea rooms and sit at a table.

"Earl Grey?" you ask.

"But of course?" Artemis replys.

Joan keeps hanging around Artemis. The way she's looking at him really annoys you, but you're doing you're best to stay calm.

Artemis whispers to you, "How about we make some tea back at the room?"

"Yes," you reply.

"Miss Low, I'm afraid that we really must be going." he says.

"Oh, well, ok, mind if I join you?" Joan says.

"Yes, we would mind. Me and (name) would like to have some alone time." Artemis says. You smile and take his hand, leaving Joan alone.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Author note from Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl!**

**I am so sorry for keeping you waiting. Seriously. Weeeeell, I punctuated it again!**

**We got a review from a Master Artemis Fowl. How odd.**

**Well, hi to him! We understand the OCC-ness, but ah, well. I'd like to know why he was reading it anyways.**

**Meeeeeeeeeeeh...**


End file.
